Particularly inspired by the events we celebrated on Easter Sunday, nine days ago my family had this great idea..."lets drive to Tennessee." So as soon as church was over and some clean up completed, we jumped in our friend's car (shout out to homeys who let you borrow their vehicles) and embarked on a 2500 mile (round trip) journey. I tend to be a adventure-first/reflection later kind of guy so it wasn't until about halfway through the trip that I realized that we would end up driving most of four days, all day, to enjoy three days. Rushing back for Sunday service is the story of my family's (I don't begrudge it, but I'm sure I'm the only one in my family that doesn't) life when it comes to vacations.
All in all it was a pretty smooth trip and I am left with the following questions for the sake of ponderification (please no one point out that this is not a word...I am a word creator and it is now):
1. Why do we ruin our American countryside with billboards? This isn't the first time I've wondered this but it's the first time that I felt like taking action...like pulling over and chainsawing the suckers down. I was of course minus a chainsaw and didn't want to present that sort of violent and spontaneous example (not wanting to shatter their otherwise peaceful and patterned view of their father) to my kids. I remember driving through the majestic hills of Germany, the Alps of Switzerland and the French countryside and I am sure I never saw one sign for Helga's Schnitzel Factory or Pierre's Crepe Cafe. (Please pardon the stereotypical names, but I'm sure at least three of my readers will enjoy it, so risk/reward.) West Virginia and Tennessee were fairly bad but it's Pennsylvania and Southern Virginia that took the cake. Entire meadows (otherwise beautiful) were littered with these ugly monstrosities, advertising everything from the approaching Waffle House to the 800 number for the local vasectomy reversal company. By the way, why is it that that particular industry chooses to capture the traveling crowd. Do people often finding themselves on road trips thinking to themselves..."you know what I need...a good vasectomy reversal." I understand why companies want to advertise and why farmers and landowners would rent their land out, but it's unfortunate because it ruins our purple mountains magesties and our fruited plains.
2. Do Tennessee state troopers have a tracking device in my wallet? Having lived in that fair state for almost six years, I personally propped up the struggling local economies of many of its little towns along the way. I did this by speeding (hard to call 33 mph in a 25 mph speeding but anyway) merrily through their little cities to the delight of Barney Fife, who couldn't wait to serve and protect on my butt. So once again upon returning I found myself east of Nashville on I40, pulled to the shoulder receiving yet another citation, this time to the tune of $184.50. I did appreciate the fact that the trooper didn't bother giving me any lecture about the importance of slowing down on the road, he just quickly took my info, gave me my latest dose of Southern justice and sent me on my way. This episode made my wife very happy with me, who was happy to forfeit money previously designated for shoes, in order to invest in the Tennessee governmental infrastructure. The lesson I learned here might be the subject of a future blog.
3. Why do some songs only sound good on the road? I would never, ever listen to Stevie Nicks any other time, but when you're buzzing through the West Virginia countryside, and the family is asleep and you have 400 miles to go, all of a sudden the lyrics from The Edge of Seventeen make a whole lot of sense. "Just like a white-winged dove sings a song, sounds likes she's singing, whoo...whoo...whoo." For that moment I was that dove and even though I wasn't quite sure why I was singing "whoo"...it felt right. On this trip, (courtesy of my my friends XM radio) I was ministered to by The Bangles Eternal Flame and of course Willie Nelson tunes ad nauseam...Willie is the King of the Road.
I really enjoy driving...
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